The headline really makes the story, here.

What can I say, really?  I guess the moral of the story is, don’t urinate under the influence.  On a bridge.  And… pretend to fall.  Dumbass.

So those idiots in Mass are at it again.  I guess they got themselves a lake there with a 45 letter name.  Only now they think they might be spelling the name wrong.

Thing is, they don’t even know what the damn name means.  It’s not even clear they know what language the name is in (which would seem to me to be a prerequisite for figuring out what the shit it means).  There’s some vague mention of “Indian” in the article, but that’s like those asshats who keep saying “Ubuntu” is an African word.  That’s like saying “sensei” is an Asian word or that “taco” is a North American word.

Last I knew, there were still some “Indians” hanging out in the general vicinity of Massachusetts.  Maybe they could help.

Wow.  Just… wow.  I’ve seen some pretty dumbass things in my time, but jumping into a polar bear enclosure?

I love the part about how “It is not known why the woman pulled the dangerous stunt but she initially appeared to be elated as she swam towards a bear in the enclosure.”

Elated?  She was goddamn elated?  AS SHE SWAM TOWARDS A BEAR?  Either she was drunk off her ass, or she’s the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.  I’m going to go out on the old proverbial limb and say it was actually probably both.

Here’s the kicker.  She jumped in during feeding time.  FEEDING TIME.  The time when the bears EAT THE STUFF THAT GETS THROWN TO THEM.  Of all the times to pick, she picked the very time the bears were most inclined to eat whatever happened to wander by.

I’m inclined to believe she got what she deserved.