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The dangers of the black market

It should go without saying that if you are involved in the illegal drug trade, you probably shouldn’t invite the cops into your house.  But apparently this guy didn’t get the memo.

Good job, asshole.  Way to bust yourself.  Hope your roomates made off with the good shit before the cops got there!

Posted in In The News.


The worst webcam of all time

Wow.  This is awful right here.  A webcam showing the waiting room of the Benson Boulevard Office of the Department of Motor Vehicles in Anchorage, AK.

I suppose the point is, you can go look at how many people are there ahead of you and gauge whether or not it’s a good time to head to the DMV.  But… it’s the DMV.  Isn’t there always a thousand people there ahead of you, day and night, 24/7?  It’s like the first rule of the DMV–you’re always going to wait at least an hour.  And then you’ll have been in the wrong line anyway, and have to go wait in another line.  Or you filled out the wrong form.  Or you didn’t bring two “acceptable” forms of identification.  Or… well, you get the picture.

Watching that camera has made me dumber.

Posted in Miscellaneous.


That is why you fail

Feng Shui can go right to hell, but this headline about a Taiwanese high roller is pretty hilarious.  Blaming your two million dollars in losses on Feng Shui is just about the most absurd thing ever, but the best part is the article takes the time to point out that he was up 400k before the casino messed with his towels!

No.  Just stop.  It’s not goddamn FENG SHUI.  That shit is 100% bullshit.  It doesn’t work, it doesn’t change anything, it’s just a bunch of mystical shit.  Stop.   Now.

It’s called house edge and probability, motherfucker.  Look it up.  Hey, look, you don’t even have to, I linked that shit for you.  Now go read it and stop talking about GODDAMN FENG SHUI LIKE IT MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK.

Posted in In The News.


You mean conspiracy theorists might be idiots?

This here is flippin’ awesome:

This is a video of Dr. Josiah Thompson, noted JFK conspiracy author, explaining why Oswald could not have fired the number of shots he is said to have fired (3) in the amount of time it is said he had (most conspiracy buffs cite a number around 6 seconds, usually something overly exact like “5.6 seconds”).

Now, never mind that the FBI test he is apparently misrepresenting shows that it is possible to shoot three accurate shots with a Mannlicher-Carcano rifle like Oswald’s in as little as 4.5 seconds.  This guy proceeds to tell us that the “necessary minimal mechanical firing time” of this rifle (which he defines as taking one shot, cycling the bolt, and taking another shot) is 2.3 seconds.  He flat out says this is the minimum time it takes to fire a shot, prepare the rifle for another shot, then fire again.  So obviously, you can’t take 3 shots in 5.6 seconds or whatever sub six second number you would like to pull out of your ass today.

Thing is, as you can see in the video, he demonstrates what he means by “minimum mechanical firing time”.  Are you seeing where I’m going with this yet?  For those of you who don’t have a stopwatch handy, go here and time it for yourself.

What did you get?  I tried it a few times, and never got more than 1.9 seconds.  From the time he dry fires the rifle the first time to the time he dry fires the second time is somewhere between 1.7 and 1.9 seconds by my tests.

Good job, asshole. Way to parrot incorrect information then make a complete jackass of yourself on television.

Posted in Retro.


Guys with huge muscles fear drug testers

What?  You’re saying bodybuilders might just need some help getting those ridiculous physiques?  Say it aint so!

I love the image of a bunch of muscle bound dudes grabbing their shit and running in terror from a small guy with a cup.

Posted in In The News.