You know you suck when you can’t even kill yourself properly.

Is it just bad luck to survive a 9 story fall by landing on a little girl, then being forced to pay her medical bills?  Or is it some sort of cosmic SLAP IN THE FACE?  I think it’s probably the latter.  Anyway, if I were this guy, probably I’d just kill myself.  Try collecting from a corpse, suckers!  Hahahaha!

BANG!

…whoops, missed.

So this woman feels “more than justified”  about shooting at her husband after he refused to give her any of their tax return money.

So yeah, she’s pretty dumb.  But here’s the real question.  What the hell does “more than justified” mean anyway?  People say it a lot, but I’ve not yet figured out what it really means.  Being or feeling justified is kind of a binary thing.  Either you are, or you aren’t.  If you say “more than justified” does that mean you feel super justified?  Like you were doing the world a favor or something?

Is that what she’s saying?  She did the rest of us a favor by shooting at her husband?  Hrm.  Maybe if I got a cut of that tax money, I’d feel like she was “more than justified.”

This article is full of dipshits all the way around.  I was saying to somebody just the other day that it was only a matter of time before dispensaries and/or growers would start getting raided here in Colorado, just like they have been in California, despite Obama’s make-nice talk about how he was going to tell the DEA not to do that anymore (and despite the fact that the AG sent a memo to agents telling them to cool it with the raids on medical MJ facilities in compliance with state and local laws.)  When it comes right down to it, when you go on local TV and tweak the DEA’s nose by letting everybody know about your huge growing operation, you’re going to get busted.  If there’s one thing I know about cops, it’s that they wont stand for being “shown up” even when they’re wrong.  They’ll find something to bust you on.  And in this case, there is a pretty clear Federal law to bust you under, dumbass.

So note to the asshole who went on goddamn TV and bragged about his huge grow room:  Shut your mouth, dumbass.  You just killed the goose that laid the golden egg.  What the hell did you do that for, anyway?  Were you really not paying attention when the DEA continually busted legal-under-state-law dispensaries and growers in California, or did you actually believe Obama’s rhetoric about making the DEA not do that anymore?

There are at least two other idiots in this story though, and the next one is of course the DEA dude himself.  Fuck you, pig!  Apparently he didn’t get that memo from the AG that said he wasn’t supposed to do what he just did.  I kind of expected it to happen anyway, and it looks like they’re trying to paint him as some kind of “rogue agent” going against the wishes of his boss, which I also pretty much expected.  It’s an easy way to look like you’re changing things without changing anything at all, something the Obama administration has become pretty adept at (remember how he was going to close Guantanamo and pull us out of Iraq?  Those things happened, right?)

The third idiot is the neighbor at the end, whose entire contribution to the story is to let loose with the familiar “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?” whine when she notes that grow dude’s house is only one block from an elementary school.

HOLY SHIT!  ONLY ONE BLOCK!  WTF?  Oh wait… that actually has no bearing on anything, does it?  Was the guy selling to children?  No, he wasn’t.  Is growing marijuana dangerous to the environment or potentially dangerous to people in the area the way, say, making meth is?  No, it sure isn’t.  So shut the hell up already, woman.  Those kids are in more danger from drivers on the road in front of their school than they ever were from that dude growing some weed in his basement a block down the street.

In short, everybody in this article can go right to hell.

If you’ve been reading for awhile, you’ve probably picked up on the general vibe of this site.  I find some funny/weird/awful thing online, and I make fun of it for a bit, swear a little, we all have a good laugh, and then we move on.

I think I may have found my match though.  I can’t think of anything to say about this story that will add much to the “holy shit” factor that isn’t already said in the first line of the story, which I will now quote verbatim:

“A South African minibus taxi driver five times over the legal blood alcohol limit at breakfast time was arrested on Wednesday for transporting 49 children in a 16-seat vehicle.”

All I can think to say is this.  Five times the legal blood alcohol level times three times more passengers than seats in the van equals fifteen times the awful.

“”The man is now behind bars,” Colin Govender of the Road Traffic Inspectorate said.”

Well I should goddamn hope so!