The softies banned a man from Xbox Live for listing his town as “Fort Gay, WV”. Despite the fact that Fort Gay is a real town with a real zip code (25514) and everything.
Microsoft refused to even Google the town (or, ahem, Bing the town) because hey, they don’t have to actually do things–they’re Microsoft! Rules are rules man, you can’t be from FORT GAY, that’s wrong!
Ban first, ask questions later. That’s the Microsoft way!
In Germany, apparently you can be fired for stealing 1.8 cents worth of electricity. Or, well, I guess you can’t, since the courts ruled that the company was way fucking out of line for trying to shitcan the dude for charging his Segway scooter for a couple hours.
I’m not sure what’s worse, though. That the company tried to fire him for “stealing” 1.8 cents worth of electricty (I “steal” more than that every day charging my cell phone in a company outlet), that they waited twelve days to do it, or that the guy actually owns a stupid Segway.
In 1976, Canadian stuntman Kenny Carter decided he was going to jump the St Lawrence Seaway in a Lincoln Continental. The jump would cover a distance of more than a mile, so he wasn’t going to use just any old Lincoln Continental. He was gonna soup that bitch up with some sweet fins and some mofo rockets.
The jump proved more complicated than anticipated, as jumping a mile across a river apparently isn’t something you can do just on the spur of the moment. Several backers of the jump came and went, until finally in 1979 Kenny was ready. Or at least, he thought he was. Mechanical failures caused him to abort an attempt at the jump just five seconds before takeoff.
The film crew who was then funding the jump decided Kenny was just a big chicken, and called him to a “meeting” in Ottawa just to get him out of the way while they brought in another stuntman, American Kenny Powers. Because as everybody knows, if a Canadian isn’t dumb enough to risk his life on something stupid, the only answer is to call in an American!
Well, if you watched the video above, you know what happened. Or, hey, if you just thought about it for a few seconds, you probably figured out what happened. The car rocketed off the huge ramp, and… freaking disintegrated in mid-air. The chutes deployed early, and American Kenny plunged into the river, far short of the other bank. Kenny Powers lived, thankfully, although he broke 8 vertebrae.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don’t attempt a stunt even Evel Knievel thinks is a bad idea.
Two old dudes at a California garage sale apparently got into it with each other. They had both shown up early for the sale, as only old people who have nothing at all better to do with their time will do, and one man got a little uppity when the second man tried to get to the sale ahead of him. So he did what any self-respecting 70 year old man would do. He picked up a five pound, cast iron corn bread pan and cracked the dude over the head with it. The article doesn’t say, but at this point I believe the assembled crowd started to spontaneously chant “ECW! ECW!” Or at least, they should have.
The police are currently holding the aggressor on ‘suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon’. Presumably, they have to test to find out just how deadly a 5 pound cast iron pan is before they can officially charge him with that. I’d hate to be among the test subjects. Anyhow, any civilized person knows there’s only one rational way to solve this dispute.
Thunderdome cage match. Two men enter. One man leaves. Oh, you want first crack at that dirty toaster and that broken AM radio? You best be prepared to pay the price! And I ain’t talking about the price on the tag, SUCKA!
Apparently somebody shot him in the damn head one New Year’s Eve and the dude was so plastered, he didn’t notice for several years! Seriously, he just went about his business like nothing happened. That is just about the most hardcore thing I’ve ever heard. Several years later, the dude goes to the doctor to have a “cyst” removed, and oh hey? What’s this? A .22 caliber bullet? Listen to how to dude describes getting shot:
Presented with the 5.6mm projectile, the man recalled he had received a blow to the head around midnight at a New Year’s party “in 2004 or 2005,”
A “blow to the head”. That’s how he describes getting shot. Just as if that happens to him every once in awhile, you know? “Oh yeah, I remember now. I felt a little sting up there last year–oh, you mean I was shot? Hell, that explains it then!”
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