So I guess teenagers need to be warned not to set shit on fire with makeshift flamethrowers now. I mean, I guess it’s a good idea, every so often, to just mention to people “Don’t set people on fire with your ratty-ass body spray”–we all need a helpful reminder now and then, I suppose.
But, considering there’s nothing dumber on the face of the planet than your average middle-class teenager (except maybe a whole group of your average middle-class teenager) I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that there’s apparently a big problem with them randomly setting each other on fire with spray deodorant.
Now that I think about it, though, do we really want to discourage this? Maybe instead we should just take a Darwinistic view of the whole thing. If you’re so fucking dumb that you’ll actually set yourself or your idiot friends on goddamn fire with your own body spray, maybe we don’t need your contribution to the gene pool? I guess we need to make sure they don’t torch houses, cars, forests, or the smart kids standing around minding their own business. But hey, you want to go up in nice-smelling flames? Knock yourself out, asshole.
As usual, I’m with Old Man Murray here. If the teenagers want to set themselves on fire, hey, I’m fine with that. Give me a call when they start lighting adults on fire and then I’ll start caring.