Shut the fuck up about astrology already

This keeps smacking me in the face everywhere I look (all over my Twitter and Facebook feeds and around the proverbial water cooler at work, for example.)  Try as I might to ignore it, it just keeps fucking popping up, like a beastialty porn site advertisement that just will not be ignored–no matter how many times you close it, it keeps coming back.

An astronomy professor in Minneapolis recently suggested that the astrological signs of the zodiac need to be updated.  When astrologers say the sun is in one constellation, it’s actually in another, thanks to the fact that astrologers are using outdated charts.  The charts they use were created more than 2,000 years ago, and the Earth’s axial “wobble” has long since thrown those charts out of whack.

Here’s your first hint that astrology is fucking bullshit:  Astrologers have not bothered to update their charts even once in the last two thousand years, despite the fact that this precession in our planet’s axial tilt was discovered in 280 B.C.  If they can’t fucking be bothered to figure out if their shit even resembles reality anymore, do you think this is science, or bullshit?  My money is on bullshit.

The entire idea that whatever constellation the sun was in when you were born has some bearing on who you turn out to be as a person is insanity, but the fact that astrologers don’t even know what sign the sun is in at any given point because their fucking charts are outdated really ought to be the final nail in the coffin.  But I know it wont be, because this isn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, new news.   We’ve known about this for a very long time.  The zodiacal star charts were set about 2000 years ago, and never once have astrologers updated them, despite the fact that we’ve known about the precession of the Earth’s axis for almost as long, if not longer.  They don’t even care, because astrology isn’t science.  It’s mysticism and woo, and it’s demonstrably false.

Don’t believe me?  Think you can prove astrology is correct?  Well, don’t yell at me.  I’m tired of this shit.  But I’ll tell you this–if you think you can prove that astrology works, then James Randi has a million dollars with your name on it.  So take it up with him, not me.