So did you hear the latest? Apparently pork is an aphrodisiac now. Or so says the President of Argentina, who says she and her husband ate some nice barbecue pork and “things went very well that weekend”. That’s some awesome anecdotal evidence right there, I must admit.
Apparently the Argentinians eat a metric shitton of beef, and the government is trying to encourage them to eat more pork. Because that’s what governments are for, doncha know? I guess telling them they can ditch their Viagra and replace it with a delicious pulled pork sandwich and get the same results is a small fib on the grand scale of “lies governments have told”, but holy shit, can you imagine how terrible it would be if Obama tried to get Americans to eat more pork by saying “Yeah, Michelle and I had some pork chops last weekend, and let me tell you, she’s still walking bow-legged. Know what I mean? Huh? You smell what I’m cookin’ here folks?”
Actually, that would be totally awesome. Nevermind. Also, President Obama should totally channel The Rock during speeches in real life instead of just in my head.
Anywho, in closing, I’d just like to say that I had no idea that the President of Argentina was such a major hotty. Let me be downright sexist here for a moment and say that if Hillary Clinton looked like that instead of like this, I bet she’d be President right now.
Ha ha, no, just kidding. She’d still have lost.
I see you like women with gigantic, penis-y noses. Can I recommend some Owen Wilson?
Hey, I bet she can smell what The Rock is cookin’. All the way from Argentina.
And if the Rock’s cookin’ pork, she won’t be able to sit down for a week.