Professional wrestler The Ultimate Warrior gave what were probably the most intense interviews of all time. Perhaps not coincidentally, he also gave the most rambling and incoherent interviews of all time.
I will give five internet dollars to anybody who can tell me what in the hell he’s talking about here. This interview was part of the final push for one of the biggest matches of all time, Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VI. Clearly there’s something in here about how this conflict was inevitable–he starts the rant saying as much, I think. Then there’s something about Hulk Hogan being full of walls filled with thick fear. Then a little bit later, there’s something about his fans attaching themselves to the outside of the building and… seeping through? Wow. That’s some deep shit. I’m not sure what to make of it. The best part is how he keeps referring to Hulk Hogan as “HO KOGAN”.
Also, check out Mean Gene at the 1:20 mark or so. As soon as the Warrior starts ranting about the walls, Gene tugs at his collar and makes a face–at first I interpreted it as Gene hamming it up, acting like he was hot under the collar because the Warrior was scaring him or whatever. But I’m thinking that’s probably not it at all–it’s more likely he’s signalling to someone off camera that this interview is rapidly going south and someone needs to cut it off very soon! Of course, nobody does, because who is going to step in and tell this roid freak to start over? Instead he goes on for another minute or more. It’s completely awful, and yet… also complete awesome.
My favourite Ultimate Warrior rant is the one about how all the lights in the exit signs are burned out, HO KOGAN. I think that’s the same rant wherein he tells Kogan to hijack an airplane and crash it.